If you're wondering what I mean,
A few days ago the Big Cheese told my parents I'd have to move to adult class.
I was okay with that at first. I agree with him. The other kids are all much lower in rank than I am, and basically the sensei is ignoring me so he can bring the other kids up to my level- and I dunno about you, but I'm not gonna park my ass and wait for the other kids to play a two-year game of catchup. I gotta keep moving forward, and this isn't cutting it.
So I agreed I'd TRY adult class last night.
Well, before class, I was so nervous I couldn't even draw or play my guitar without it looking or sounding completely terrible. So I was pacing for an hour beforehand, trying to calm down with no luck to speak of. By the time we got to the dojo I was so uptight something was clicking in my nethers.
But get this.
I actually enjoyed it- I was lucky enough with the timing of joining the class that we had an easy class, and I'm actually ALLOWED to teach the whole herd of white-belts that just came in, which is a serious plus. I'll need that teaching skill for when I get my black belt. In fact, half of them seemed to like me, even though I was the only person under twenty-two in the whole class.
Not was I was expecting-but a shitload better.